I turned 40 a couple of weeks ago.
That number is not old, but it is old enough to feel the weight of something I have always known in theory and am starting to feel in my bones: I’m dying and so are you.
Scripture says that God has numbered our days. He knows exactly how many we get. You and I do not.
That means the question is not whether we will leave a legacy. We will.
The question is much simpler and much more uncomfortable:
What legacy are you actually leaving?
Everyone leaves a legacy, on purpose or not
When we hear the word “legacy,” most of us think about money.
We picture a will, an estate, maybe a business that gets passed down or sold. And those things matter. A good man really should think about his children and his children’s children.
But that is not the whole picture.
You are also leaving a legacy in:
- The way you speak to your spouse
- The way you handle stress and conflict
- The habits that quietly run your home every day
- The way you spend your evenings and your weekends
- The way you respond when things go wrong
Your kids are watching all of it. They are learning what “normal” looks like from you.
They will take that “normal” with them into their own homes.
Legacy is more than financial
Financial inheritance is a piece of legacy, but it is not the only piece and it is not the most important one.
You are building a heritage of faith or faithlessness.
You are building a culture of gratitude or entitlement.
You are building expectations for marriage, work, and church life.
Think about it this way:
- What kind of marriage will your kids assume is normal, based on what they see from you?
- What will they assume about church participation, based on how your family treats the Lord’s Day?
- What will they think “responsible” looks like, based on how you handle money, debt, and generosity?
Money can be lost in a bad year.
Family culture and habits can echo for generations.
Think in generations, not weekends
Most of us live on very short time horizons.
We think in terms of “this weekend,” “this quarter,” maybe “this year.” We react to whatever is loudest and most urgent, and we call that a plan.
But what if you started thinking in terms of 30, 50, even 100 years?
Ask questions like:
- If my great grandchildren ran across my name someday, what would I want that name to stand for?
- What do I want to be true of my family three generations from now because of choices I am making today?
- If my kids simply copy and paste my habits, where does that lead them?
You do not control outcomes. God does.
But you are responsible for direction.
Three places you can start today
You do not need a massive overhaul to start changing your legacy. You need small, concrete steps taken on purpose.
Here are three places to start.
1. Clarify what “success” looks like for your family
Sit down, maybe with a notebook, and write a simple answer to this question:
What kind of people do we hope our children and grandchildren become?
Not what kind of careers they have.
What kind of people.
Do you want them to be faithful, courageous, generous, self controlled, joyful?
Once you write it down, ask a harder question:
“Does the way we spend our time, money, and attention line up with that picture?”
2. Change one small daily habit
Look for one habit in your home that is quietly shaping your family and decide to change it.
Maybe it is replacing late night scrolling with reading aloud together a few times a week.
Maybe it is praying briefly with your spouse before bed.
Maybe it is committing to be in corporate worship every Sunday, no matter how full your week has been.
Small habits, done over years, are where generational legacy is built.
3. Invest in your marriage as part of your legacy
Your marriage is one of the clearest pictures of “normal” your kids will ever see.
If you are married, ask:
- What are our kids learning about conflict from the way we handle it?
- What are they learning about affection, respect, and unity from how we treat each other?
- What expectations are we setting for their future marriages?
Investing in your marriage is not selfish. It is part of the legacy you are handing down.
You only have so much time
You and I do not know how many days we have left. We only know that the number is fixed and that it is smaller today than it was yesterday.
That reality is not meant to paralyze us. It is meant to focus us.
You are leaving a legacy right now, in the way you live today.
The only question is whether it is the kind of legacy you would hope to leave for your children’s children.
Do it on purpose.
To thriving,
Zach
